Thursday 30 April 2009

WOW!!!!!

Apparently women use more exclamation marks than do men in CMC!!!!

http://tiny.cc/rQoLI

God moves in mysterious ways

Yesterday the Christian Forum at the OU invited me to email them if I wanted to be prayed for.

Today in Private Eye I read that there is now a lot of "religious outsourcing" to India eg the saying of mass for someone.

If God published his email address (God@everywhere.org?) we could cut out the middle man and spam him directly

Tuesday 28 April 2009

A reader writes


Roger wants to know what happened to good old-fashioned piano movers.

Wednesday 22 April 2009

Ooh you are a caution!

A police commissioner on the radio advised us not to jump to conclusions based on spectator videos at the G20 because "it's only a snapshot"

Thursday 16 April 2009

Brown comes clean?

Can somebody explain the logic in this statement?

"I take full responsibility for what happened - that is why the person that was responsible went immediately."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/gordon-brown/5164221/Gordon-Brown-says-sorry-for-Damian-McBride-Tory-smear-emails.html

Coming of age?


The Open University is 40 years old this year and this may explain why the logo is now wearing bifocals.

Wednesday 15 April 2009

Another modest proposal

Swift's solution to the problems of Ireland was for peasants to sell their children to be eaten by the rich. This was satire.

In the USA a cosmetic surgeon has got himself in a pickle by actually putting into practice another far-sighted scheme. He has been using the fat produced by liposuction to drive his cars.

"One gallon of fat will produce a gallon of "lipodiesel", and I've been using it for months to power my Ford Navigator and my girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator"

Sadly several patients have filed lawsuits against him alleging unprofessional conduct.

Source: Cosmetic Surgery News 29/12/08 and Private Eye No 1233

Thursday 9 April 2009

Road to nowhere?




Or anywhere?

Truck of the Day

COVENTRY STERILE SERVICES

As a Coventrian myself, I am worried by this eugenics programme.

Tuesday 7 April 2009

Logged off


Deforestation of Walton Hall campus a complete success say Estates.

Fancy an ethnic tonight?




Yeah verily, the Danish pastry will lay down with the English muffin.

Truck of the Day

SMITTEN TRANSPORT
To be smitten AND transported - how sweet is that?

Thursday 2 April 2009

Bladder control issues at G20 protests

But those peaceful demonstrators caught inside the cordon with no toilet facilities, and little water, questioned the idea that they were being allowed to exercise their right to march.
"The police should let us dribble out when we need to," said June Rogers, a gardener from south London.

Guardian unlimited

Bean there, done that

The new Vice-Chancellor of the OU is Martin Bean.

This took my mind back to a children's TV series in the fifties called "Billy Bean"

http://www.whirligig-tv.co.uk/tv/children/other/billybean.htm

You will see that it was amazingly prescient. His "funny machine" was very like a state of the art computer.

Are these two Mr Beans related by any chance?

Wednesday 1 April 2009

Truck of the Day

"HEDON SALADS"

Strapline?

"TOSS IT .. USING OUR HEDONISTIC VINEGAR"