WoodleyWise

Sign of the day

2010-08-11T10:25:00.001+01:00

"Warning street cleansing in progress"

Is "cleansing" better than "cleaning"?

Sign Language

2010-06-01T11:01:00.001+01:00

Sent in by Gus

Truck of the Day

2010-04-22T10:47:00.000+01:00

PRIOR PRODUCTS LIMITED

Do they send them before you order them?

Have the products changed into something else?

You know you are in trouble when..

2010-04-11T18:12:00.001+01:00

..even your lifebelt needs help.

The right man for the job?

2010-04-06T10:12:00.000+01:00

Vienna Boys’ Choir caught up in sex abuse scandals

Roger Boyes, Berlin Correspondent of The Times

BA BA Blacklegs

2010-04-06T10:08:00.000+01:00

With lyrics

Up close and personal?

2010-04-01T12:09:00.001+01:00

I know about lapdancers , but laptopers?

"Laptopers in an educational practice: Promoting the personal learning situation
Tomas Lindroth , Magnus Bergquist Computers & Education 54 (2010) 311–320

Media News

2010-03-26T10:59:00.001Z

I bought the Guardian yesterday for £1. No press interset at all. Is it becos I isn't Russian?

Don't get too excited but...

2010-03-24T15:52:00.000Z

First International Conference on Yawning

Première Conférence Internationale sur le Bâillement

2010, june 24 & 25

Paris

Hôpital de La Salpêtrière

Amphitéâtre JM. Charcot

(sent in by Fred)

Do not send this to anybody

2010-03-19T15:39:00.000Z

Nestle

Send them this instead

2010-03-19T15:38:00.001Z

Have a break

I wouldn't be seen dead in it anyway

2010-03-17T16:42:00.001Z

Thanks to John O'D for this

Too busy to read books?

2010-03-17T10:21:00.001Z

Well here is Pride and Prejudice in emoticons:

From Rebecca (No, not that one)

Meanwhile in MK....

2010-03-12T15:04:00.001Z

.. cryogenics seems to have moved on to pets.

It's the dog's bottom!

2010-03-12T15:01:00.001Z

(Sent in by Karen)

Disambiguation

2010-03-12T14:59:00.000Z

For you young ones, Jack Brabaham (see below) was a world champion racing driver in the sixties

But there is always one....

2010-03-11T16:09:00.002Z

Bend it like Brabham?

2010-03-11T15:58:00.001Z

Do not try to park round this lamp post.

The nights are drawing in

2010-03-03T13:52:00.001Z

Apparently the Chilean earthquake has moved the earth's axis by 8cm thus shortening the day about1.26 microseconds

Steven Fry I ain't ..

2010-03-02T10:34:00.002Z

.. but just received the 1,000th visitor to my Blog!

There has been an average of 5 per day since I set the meter running. That probably means 4 visits from me plus a Bot, but Hey! - one day.

Yesterday the Ring Road was blocked by flooding. Today?

2010-03-02T09:53:00.001Z

How stupid can you get?

2010-03-01T14:04:00.001Z

A study by Imperva shows the 10 most common user passwords are:

1) 123456
2) 12345
3) 123456789
4) Password
5) iloveyou
6) princess
7) rockyou
8) 1234567
9) 12345678
10) abc123

Collectively these ten account for 2% of all passwords.

Way to go!

2010-03-01T13:41:00.001Z

How do you like them apples?

Truck of the Day

2010-03-01T10:31:00.001Z

"WALKING FLOORS"

Doesn't sound like a niche market.

Diversity Training in HE

2010-02-26T16:10:00.000Z

Watch and learn

More wales of anguish

2010-02-26T11:16:00.002Z

John tells me that Luxembourg is only one eighth of a Wales

So what ? They could have said the iceberg was the size of Clwyd!

Is this the tip of the iceberg?

2010-02-26T10:01:00.001Z

In a dangerous move the BBC has announced that the iceberg that has boken off the Southern ice cap is the size of Luxembourg.

Don't they know that Wales is the Standadrd Internation Unit for such occurences?

Where can I find a conversion table?

Truck of the Day

2010-02-24T10:23:00.002Z

Can't remember the firm but it just said "TRANSPORT" - no "LOGISTICS" no "SUPPLY CHAIN, no "SOLUTIONS", no "NUFFINK".

HOORAY!

Retaliation?

2010-02-23T14:19:00.001Z

I thought we might retaliate by stealing the Leeds University logo (see last item)but it seems to just be an off-centre salt cellar.

A hint of competition?

2010-02-23T13:48:00.002Z

Plus brand stealing!
Read more at The Really Open University website

Over the Moon

2010-02-22T14:15:00.002Z

Wasn't it lovely to see Mr Bean meeting the Queen?

Killer headline

2010-02-03T16:35:00.002Z

My quest for the perfect tabloid headline continues. This from the Sun on Jan 19 comes close I feel:

COKE SHAME QUEEN WAR HERO JAILED

There are no redundant words but I think it was let down by the use of JAILED rather than CAGED

Happy New Year from Southern Spain

2010-01-08T18:17:00.001Z

How to have fun with a dictionary!

Promotion for Sir Les!

2009-12-17T10:00:00.002Z

No not Sir Les Patterson (Austrailian Cultural Attache) but Sir Leszek Borysiewicz. He will be the 345th vice-chancellor of the University of Cambridge but the highest Scrabble score ever.

Cue the diet

2009-12-15T11:36:00.001Z

Along with his £100,000 first prize for winning the UK Snooker championship, Ding Junhui also scooped an unusual prize from new sponsors Pukka Pies as he takes home his own weight (69kg) in pies for winning their event.

Oh that Bill Werbenuk were alive today!

Ursine news

2009-10-27T14:04:00.001Z

Apparently bears don't like honey!

We eagerly await an update on their defecatory habits.

Shop ping

2009-10-27T13:59:00.003Z

Natalie sends this lovely pic saying "If you can't find the book you want, you are probably in the ...."

PS If you track back in this blog to Oct 29, 2008 you will see my own sap of the shop.

No news is , err, no news

2009-10-27T13:51:00.002Z

Apparently Good Friday, 1930 was a slow day.

The BBC announcer said "There is no news tonight"

This has not happened since.

Spot the artist 3 - Beginners level

2009-10-16T12:07:00.003+01:00

This is Liu Bolin - The Invisible Man. He literally paints himself so he fits in with the background.

Now can you see him by the digger?

(Thanks to Alf who sent me this)

Spot the artist 2

2009-10-16T11:50:00.000+01:00

Clue: Look carefully at the area around the front wheel and the bucket

Spot the artist

2009-10-16T11:02:00.002+01:00

No danger of "Lost Sheep" here!

2009-10-13T12:20:00.001+01:00

Very nice Mr Rodin..

2009-10-09T14:46:00.003+01:00

.. but what were your learning objectives?

Adult education toes the line

Ratings wars

2009-10-08T12:57:00.001+01:00

A Brazilian politician who fronts a popular television crime show is being investigated for allegedly ordering a series of murders in a bid to boost his ratings.

Guardian

A VC replies

2009-10-07T11:23:00.002+01:00

The Vice-Chancellor of Chad Valley University today angrily rejected the Birmingham Met dress code.

Smart teaching

2009-10-07T10:12:00.001+01:00

Birmingham Metropolitan College has introduced a dress code for staff requiring tidy hair, business suits and skirts, no visible tattoos, no slogans on T-shirts or "ostentatious ear-rings".

The college defended the rules saying it was "important that our staff present a professional image".

Should I put a plaster over my tattoo when writing an elearning course?

What next? A dress code for students?

For weaving through the traffic

2009-10-06T09:21:00.002+01:00

Sent in by the Reverend

Truck Of theDay

2009-10-05T16:05:00.000+01:00

A giant artic from McVities.

On the back it said:

"Warning. No Jaffa Cakes are stored in this truck overnight"

Arresting news

2009-10-05T14:30:00.002+01:00

The Ig Nobel prizes are with us once more.

My favourite is the prize for literature that has been given to the Irish police force.

The most frequent driving offender in Ireland is Prawo Jazdy with over 50 tickets

Prawo Jazdy in Polish means "Driving Licence"

Driving at its best!

2009-10-05T13:58:00.002+01:00

Photo sent in by Anne

New VC means business

2009-10-05T11:52:00.001+01:00

Very diverting

2009-10-05T11:40:00.002+01:00

Home, dry home

2009-10-01T09:45:00.001+01:00

Cardiff University staff have been told that drinking at work is forbidden and the policy staets that employees' homes will be considered part of the workplace when they work there.

Full story

Goodbye to old black eyes?

2009-09-25T11:09:00.002+01:00

BBC naturalist says let them die out.

Truck of the Day

2009-09-25T09:32:00.000+01:00

"Tardis Environmental" Apparently it is one of the leading companies in the industry for portable toilet hire.

What a muiissed opportunity! They could have called it "Turdis"

VC in hot water

2009-09-24T11:56:00.000+01:00

By the way, the contributor on "Lust" appears to have upset a lot of people.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/sep/23/university-female-students-perk

OU dress awful!

2009-09-24T11:39:00.000+01:00

Graham Farmelo citing “Sartorial inelegance” as the number one academic sin in the THE:

“No institution has done more recently than The Open University to consolidate the reputation of academics as the worst-dressed people in the country. The BBC ably assisted, repeating OU programmes annually, with the embarrassment at the clothing choices on display sometimes rising above the human pain threshold.

Even if the OU had recruited only sharply dressed presenters, most people would still believe that dons have the dress sense of Mr Bean”

Surely he is not referring to the new Vice-Chancellor?

Can't complain

2009-09-23T11:46:00.002+01:00

Chat up lines

2009-09-17T13:04:00.004+01:00

They have done a statistical analysis of good and bad chat up lines on a dating site here .

I can summarise it for you:

Good =

Howdy. Sorry but as an atheist I find it fascinating that you mention a Zombie band. What good taste!

Bad =

Hi God U R sexy . Wot is your email?

Rivetting

2009-09-14T15:23:00.002+01:00

Sent in by Dave - more at Failblog.

I wonder

2009-09-10T12:09:00.001+01:00

Is it mispelled(?) in Chinese as well?

Get a classic haircut in MK

2009-09-10T12:08:00.002+01:00

A truly green car

2009-09-10T12:06:00.001+01:00

A bit brighter?

2009-09-10T12:02:00.002+01:00

Beware!!

2009-09-10T11:53:00.002+01:00

Ed Techies at play at ALTC conference ( Picture borrowed from "Timbuckteeth"!?!)

Open Prison

2009-09-09T17:17:00.002+01:00

Duncan Campbell, writing in the Guardian last Saturday, referred to the Open University benefiting a generation of north London armed robbers in the 1970s.

" Meeting one of them for a drink one night in the pub, I noticed that he was reading Virginia Woolf's To The Lighthouse. I mentioned this , with a snigger, to another armed robber who replied, without drawing breath: 'Not her best' "

Birthday

2009-09-09T10:08:00.000+01:00

Today's date is 09/09/09

At 09:09:09 this morning, I wished myself Many Happy Returns.

Satnav yourself out of this!

2009-09-02T10:41:00.001+01:00

The ultimate roadsign sent in by Daphne.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!

2009-08-28T16:01:00.002+01:00

Thank god!

2009-08-28T14:11:00.001+01:00

They've turned up at last.

Caption Contest 2

2009-08-26T11:28:00.002+01:00

"Hi Honey. I'm on the drain"

Meanwhile, back at that pier..

2009-08-26T11:10:00.001+01:00

Parking? No chance!

2009-08-25T11:07:00.002+01:00

What not to do and why

2009-08-24T13:18:00.001+01:00

A new discipline?

2009-08-21T17:17:00.002+01:00

More beach rules

2009-08-20T16:18:00.002+01:00

Damn! I had to abandon my 10 gallon cooler, my tent-like structure and my swiss string!

Is "she" having a larf?

2009-08-20T10:29:00.002+01:00

Whatever made the judges suspicious of this petite svelte athlete called Caster Semenya?

Could it be her obviously made-up name? Caster is very close to "castor", the Latin for beaver. And we all know what Castor and Pollux is Cockney rhyming slang for.

And then there is her surname - Semen - ya?

Oh dear!

2009-08-19T10:07:00.002+01:00

By the time I had read this, I think I was guilty of loitering.

About time!

2009-08-18T16:35:00.000+01:00

Dean Richards considers his 3 year Rugby ban:

It seems a little bit disproportionate but, at the end of the day, I'll reflect on it overnight and obviously see where my thoughts are in the morning."

Don't ask me

2009-08-18T14:48:00.003+01:00

If you like lash-up solutions

2009-07-30T11:21:00.002+01:00

.. go to http://thereifixedit.com/
(Sent in by John O'D)

M1 Gantry Message of the Day

2009-07-30T10:51:00.000+01:00

"ANIMALS IN THE ROADWAY -SLOW"

Has the summer migration of the muntjaks started early this year?

And 3rd prize goes to....

2009-07-27T16:26:00.001+01:00

Change Management Chinese-style

2009-07-27T14:34:00.000+01:00

http://www.managementtoday.co.uk/channel/Leadership/news/922943/irate-chinese-steel-workers-kill-boss-scupper-merger/

Reports this morning state that employees of the state-owned Tunghua Iron and Steel company, in the industrial north-east of the country, were ‘unhappy’ about plans for a proposed takeover by private sector rival the Jianlong Steel Holding Company. The deal could apparently have resulted in the loss of as many of 25,000 of the 30,000 jobs at the plant.

In fact they were so ‘unhappy’ that when the general manager of Jianlong, one Chen Guojun, pitched up last Friday to give them a pep talk, some 3,000 workers took matters into their own hands and rioted. In the course of which disturbance, the unfortunate Chen was reportedly beaten to death, and 100 other people were injured. Makes those French militants and their crazy boss-napping antics look positively small-time by comparison.

Another award-winner

2009-07-27T13:55:00.000+01:00

Contractor Award Winner 2008

2009-07-27T11:43:00.001+01:00

Sent in by Peter B

Boolean algebra for beginners

2009-07-27T09:02:00.001+01:00

Ancient Egyptian warning

2009-07-25T21:28:00.001+01:00

Do not adjust reality

2009-07-25T21:04:00.002+01:00

Not all that friendly?

2009-07-23T12:00:00.002+01:00

Daphne writes to tell me that "While the south-west of the South Island moved about 30 centimetres closer to Australia, the east coast moved only 1 centimetre westwards".

So I think that a) NZ is getting bigger and b)not all of NZ is rushing to join Australia

A friendly gesture

2009-07-22T14:10:00.002+01:00

Apparently New Zealand moved 12 inches closer to Australia as a result of today's quake

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8151530.stm

Rehab for Steven Gerrard?

2009-07-22T12:59:00.001+01:00

Skinning up

2009-07-20T12:52:00.001+01:00

"International swimming has been engulfed by "suit wars" since the LZR Racer broke the mould early last year. By the end of the year, 108 new records had been set. Even when doping was rife in the 1970s and 1980s, records did not fall with such abandon.

By the time swimming's governing body, Fina, met at Dubai in March, the second generation of super suits was launched. The second-generation suits are 100% polyurethane and impermeable, and are so tight that swimmers take up to 40 minutes to put them on."

It seems to me that there should be a LeMans start. Swimmers have to run to their suits, get in them, then do the race.

Signs explained

2009-07-16T14:37:00.001+01:00

Thanks to Chris D for this little gem

Poor navigation?

2009-07-15T16:37:00.001+01:00

For this submarine the war is definitely over.

Obama Babe in Mercy Dash to the Palace

2009-07-03T15:15:00.001+01:00

First experiment results were inconclusive - although I did get one hit from "Hicksville" in the USA.

So, I try again.

Sex, drugs and rock & roll

2009-07-01T13:27:00.001+01:00

This is an experiment. My site-meter (yes I am slightly geeky)tells me that readership picked up after I mentioned Michael Jackson. So this entry should get them flooding in!

Compulsory Bad Taste Michael Jackson Joke

2009-06-26T09:43:00.002+01:00

Coroners who have examined Michael Jackson's remains have said that, on average, he was 45.27 years old at the time of death.

Late caption entry

2009-06-25T15:07:00.002+01:00

And now Miss Finland wearing her national dress.

Horses for courses?

2009-06-25T13:42:00.002+01:00

L'Oreal has been found guilty of racial discimination in France

http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/law/article6570856.ece

Apparently they wanted all-white teams to sell their Fructis shampoo.

But what about when they are selling suntanning products? Will there be reverse discrimination?